I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
