oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
