when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
