Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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