I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
