I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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