There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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