I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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