Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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