I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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