Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize