You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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