what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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