Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
