I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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