even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
