BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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