Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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