I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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