We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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