Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
