Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize