piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
