She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
