eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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