Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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