its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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