i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
