he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
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i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize