Do you still have your period?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
