When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
