I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
