the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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