So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
