everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
