she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
