i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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