Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize