he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
