dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
