So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I showed him my bush... on skype.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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