Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dear god my vagina.
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