Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
