i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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