Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We got so high we made milksteak
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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