Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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