I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize