Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
