If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
