we have pet lesbian snakes
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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