is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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