Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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