dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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