just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
