its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
