Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
