I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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