I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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