I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
