I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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