So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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