thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
