yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
