I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
