My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
And the cops told us we were all naked.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
