Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
